Over my lifetime I have had many sucesses and even more failures.  Sometimes it is hard to not focus on the failures, many of which were life changing events that redirected the path of my life.  Everytime I have had to remember “Why”.   I have to refocus and ask myself what am I doing all this for?

     I have 3 children, a wonderful husband, great parents, a brother & sister, and a beautiful loving granddaughter.  I keep their pictures on my refrigerator and all of them are in my prayers.  They are a large part of my motivation!  My faith and convictions to be kind are also contributors. 

     I could say those were my only motivation, but it would not be completely true.  I do want the freedom and security that money provides.  I want to be able to help my family, friends, and others who need help.  I don’t want to focus on money. It is true “Money doesn’t buy happiness” however having a savings in the bank does decrease stress and gives one freedom to focus on other things. No one wants to live pay check to pay check and at the last moment be burdened with finding where that next bill’s money is coming from. I have been in that situation before, and it is not fun. It is something that I never want to live again.

     Motivation and self-control comes easier when you are surrounded by motivated , positive people that you want to be like.  A few times in my life I have worked for companies that were, to say the least, a negative influence on my attitude.  I remember one job that required me to there at 7:00am (which was too early to eat breakfast and gave me no time for family), where the other managers that I worked with were complainers, not flexable, and swore.  I felt it was my job to bring happiness to work with smiles.  After a while this became exhausing and begin to deminish my motivation. Making it hard to even go to work.  I forgot what was really important in life.  This job also caused me to miss my support network, church functions and family outings, without being able to connect with God, family and friends I wasn’t able to get uplifted or renewed.  I ended up getting fired for not looking the other way when other managers yelled at staff and for going “against” the flow when they wanted me to force employees to work in unfair conditions and in fear.  Finally I could associate with positve people again, it was a relief.  No mattter what, staying in groups that give you a sense of optimistic energy is a powerful.

     Celebrating your wins sounds like it would come natural, but it doesn’t.  Especially when you feel like the win is not big enough to recognize or you don’t deserve it. We seem to always remember our faults and think that we have to pay for them before we can have a reason to celebrate.  Remember a best selling author had to write a several sentences before they could write a paragraph. They had to have several paragraphs before they had a chapter and finally they had to make several chapters before they had a book. They didn’t start out being a master, having a book, instead they started out with one sentence at a time. Now, take a piece of paper and make a list of your faults/failures.  For me it would be things like getting frustrated too easily, expecting too much from other people (and myself), and not paying attention to someone who needs my help.  They might not sounds that bad to you, but to me they are repeatative in my life and block me from celebrating small wins.

     After writing your faults/failures down, wad them up into a ball and put them in a sealed jar.  Now imagine that you can’t use any of those things to judge yourself with. Remember what you see as a fault may also be a strength.  That leaves all the positive attributes, events and things in your life to celebrate.  You can celebrate something as simple as washing all the dishes, cleaning a desk or calling a friend.  Let the small things become goals that you can celebrate daily.  Big goals/dreams are great, but it is the little ones that keep us focused and strong. For every glacier is just made up of a lot of tiny molecules.

     A big part of my path has been to ensure the environment around me feels like “home”.  Even at work I expect to feel warm, happy, comfortable, and “me”.  Have you ever gone to someone’s office and wondered how they could work there.  The smells, the sounds, the pictures on the walls, the scattered distractions.    Maybe you own one of those offices and enjoy those things, but for me it doesn’t work, we are all different.  Everybody is unique and must create a positive environment for themselves.  When you create a positive environment, your mind and body feel more at ease and everything begins to fall in place.  My mother-in-law took this one step futher and believed in feng shu.  She read books on the flow of positive energy.   Sit down and picture where you are most at ease, pinpoint the reasons why these places bring your peace. Then, create a place that brings you peace, soothes your soul and strengthens your mind.

     Last but not least is your attitude.  By now you put all your excuses, failures, and faults in a sealed jar out of sight.  Now practice believing in yourself.  Have a morning ritual which includes positive mental exercises likerepeating a mantra to yourself,  “Today I will have a wonderful day. I will be as productive as I was meant to be, and achieve what I need to. I improve on yesterday and realize that I have the ability to overcome obstacles. I am loved and protected by God and know that his Grace is with me. I am enough and I am beautiful. I will succeed in the small things and they will be great. I will get up after any failures.”  This is the one I have choosen for myself, yours WILL sound different, it is suppose to. I have some songs that make me feel happy, alive and sure of myself that I sing to start my day.  Mental exercises, posittive self-talk, and daily rituals help us with attitude.  Taking care of ourself is important. The food we eat even plays a role in this.  Again, we are all different and you know what your body needs, give it what it needs, listen to your soul.  Reasearch what you put in your body and make sure the side effects are something you can live with. Don’t let chemicals imabalance you any more than you let the environment, self-talk or habits imbalance you, it can be avoided.  

     In a nutshell, put yourself in an environment that you love, work with people you like, and believe in yourself.  Alway go back to what motivates you when needed.  Don’t question your self-worth, or the decisions you make.  Failures are just as important as successes if they are not used as excuses, the fuel for pity parties or stop us from getting up and attaining success.

Next week: Internal Party: Who to Invite (Emotional Intelligence Series)